Chapter 31: SELF-LOVE

So today is my birthday and I decided to take a look back at my life so far (I do that almost everyday though) all I see is nothing but lessons of varying degrees and forms.

But because this month of February which is my birth month doubles as the \”Month of Love\” I\’ll be talking about a few lessons I picked or rather learnt along the way in my pursuit of happiness. Trust me, I\’ve had my fair share.

So I\’ll be talking about a very vital issue that forms the basis of all emotional issues we have as humans.

SELF LOVE

Self love simply means to love oneself. But the question is, do you really love yourself as much as you should? Lack of self love has caused a lot of harm to people, both physically and emotionally. It has caused people to stay in abusive and unhealthy \”Situationships\”. Some even go as far as taking desperate decisions just to get that validation so bad from so called \’Loved ones\’. I was in that position once, I learnt the hard way as I was seriously taken for granted and manipulated. It was easy to manipulate me emotionally as long as you can sell it to me why it would be absolutely beautiful for me to act in a certain way you want me to act.
But guess what? I got out! Yea you heard me, it wasn\’t easy but I did.

Here\’s how: I started to appreciate the man I see in the mirror every morning. I fell in love with myself, I stopped depending on people\’s opinion of me, but instead I started to follow my heart and use my head. I gave myself room for improvement and learning (I\’m still a work in progress though).

I started to starve my fears, weaknesses and distractions and started feeding my strengths, focus and goals. I became more self aware and gradually started growing my strength emotionally.

All of a sudden the \”Loved ones\” I would die for to hear their validation didn\’t mean much any more, as whatever they had to say was now placed on a balanced scale to see where the intent was coming from and what exactly was the motive. By this I became stronger and gradually started getting off the grip of emotional blackmail and manipulation.

Sometimes I just play along just to make them feel they are still in charge just like old times, the reason is just so I\’ll see them for who they really are.

Then I started appreciating genuine love from real people cuz I could tell the difference.

I\’ll close with this…

\”If you don\’t love you, why should I love you?\”- Myles Munroe.

Appreciate that man/lady in the mirror today, and watch your life take a positive turn around.

Be the change you strongly desire.

Cheers…

Say a word of prayer for me, it\’s my birthday.

John Fadejola.

N.B Still accepting gifts in cash and in kind.