Stop Raising Abused Men!

Today May 16th is the international day of the boy child and as usual it doesn’t get the much attention it deserves, now this where the problem lies.

“Stop crying! You\’re a man and you can\’t be seen crying like a woman!” This is one statement that a lot of men are familiar with and this has shaped their thinking and in turn how they act over the years.

Society has demonized a lot of things especially when it comes to the male gender and the effect of this demonization is that a lot of the men you see out there are abused, wounded and are basically ticking time bombs, disasters waiting to happen.

As a boy child myself, I\’ve had my fair share and I can tell you for a fact that there’s a large amount of abuse being done to the boy child that society has made it seem normal from time immemorial.

Not to say that the people causing this hurt are entirely at fault, it\’s largely because they do not know better or worse still they have been abused themselves and are just passing the hurt and pain to the next person which is why we need to start making deliberate efforts to start having these conversations.

Now imagine this, a man who was raised with a faulty upbringing ends up becoming a boss in an organization, by default he\’s going to have a serious negative impact on the subordinates who if care is not taken would think that is a balanced way of leadership and might go ahead to keep getting shortchanged in life and the cycle of abuse continues. The said man decides to fall in love and of course passes this flawed mindset he\’s formed over the years to his partner, they start a family he raises sons in this flawed state and the cycle continues. What you get at the end of the day is a menace if not a pandemic which comes to haunt the society that created it in the first place.

I\’ve seen a lot of initiatives and programs out there about the girl child but the same can\’t be boldly said about the boy child, and wonder why these initiatives aren\’t birthing the results we want.

As we celebrate another International Day of the Boy Child, Here are 7 ways we can help raise better boys that would in turn become better men;

Normalize Emotional Expression: We should promote an environment where boys and men feel comfortable expressing their emotions openly, free from the fear of being judged or ridiculed. This means challenging traditional gender norms that discourage vulnerability and encourage emotional stoicism.

Promote Mental Health Awareness: It is important to raise awareness about mental health within communities and make sure that individuals have easy access to the resources they need for support. This also involves working to break down the stigmas associated with therapy and counseling, especially for men.

Teach Healthy Communication Skills: Highlighting the importance of clear communication in relationships, teaching young boys how to confidently express their feelings and address conflicts in a positive manner, without turning to violence or aggression.

Challenge Toxic Masculinity: Let\’s promote positive aspects of masculinity by celebrating qualities like empathy, compassion, and cooperation, and by discouraging behaviors that glorify dominance, aggression, and emotional suppression.

Provide Supportive Environments: Create safe spaces where boys and men can share their experiences and receive support without judgment. This could include peer support groups, mentoring programs, or community initiatives focused on male well-being.

Educate About Consent and Respect: It\’s crucial to educate boys about the significance of consent, boundaries, and respect in all relationships. They must be taught to identify and refuse behaviors that contribute to gender-based violence or coercion.

Promote Positive Role Models: Highlight positive male role models who embody qualities of empathy, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Showcase diverse representations of masculinity in media, literature, and popular culture to challenge stereotypes and broaden perspectives.

In summary, promoting healthier masculinity, addressing male pain, and encouraging emotional expression are crucial for improving boys and men. It requires a shift in societal norms to create a more equitable world. Acknowledging toxic masculinity is important to break cycles of abuse and mental health struggles. By educating and supporting boys, we can create a positive environment where they are valued and encouraged to seek help when needed. Let\’s celebrate positive male role models and work together to create a world free from harmful gender stereotypes. Let\’s raise better boys, healthier men, and a future of dignity and joy for all genders.